All of my children are now adults, which means the only one left to grow up is me. It’s reminded me that becoming a sacred agent is really an exercise in growing up.
There’s not enough space here or wisdom in me to give a whole lot of advice, so let’s reduce the process of growing up to two basic steps.
- Stop Kicking
Toddlers are famous for tantrums and wilfulness. Eventually, though, we hope they discover there’s more to life than fighting their parents. The kicking stops.
We’re like this in our spiritual development also. In our immaturity we can want a lot of things that are not good for us, and struggle with the divine ‘No’. And we in turn say our own ‘No’ to much that would be very good for us. Hopefully, we get through this childishness and move into spiritual adulthood, right? Oh, but we’re missing a step.
- Stop Shrugging
When those painful early stages are through, we don’t emerge straight into glorious adulthood, but into inglorious adolescence. The battle of the wills is not over; it’s just entered a new phase. This is epitomised not by a kick, but a shrug. We’ve learned enough to know it’s fruitless fighting the parents – but not yet learned to love their wisdom. In this stretch, our longest sentence is ‘Whatever’ – at least it has three syllables.
We can become spiritually shruggy too – in fact, many of us can spend decades as spiritual teenagers. We might feel we’ve reached maturity once we’ve realised that in Christ – in God’s family – there are simply some things we are not allowed to have or do. We might think maturity means simply accepting God’s decisions without complaining. That’s certainly better than tantrums. But there’s a maturity that goes much further.
Spiritual maturity moves beyond having a ‘Whatever’ relationship with God to actively seeking his will and gladly joining his work. As we offer ourselves to God as “living sacrifices”, we begin to discern his good, pleasing and perfect will (Rom. 12:1–2). When we see ourselves as heirs of the Father rather than merely wards, we join in the family business wholeheartedly.
If your prayers are mainly requests of God, followed by tantrums when denied or shrugging resignation when the answer is no, keep growing up. Ask fewer closed questions (“Can I have…?”) and more open ones: “Father, what are we doing today?” or “Who would you like me to reach out to?”
*Andrew Turner is Director of Crossover for Australian Baptist Ministries.
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